To The Parent Asking -Why--


To the parent of kids with special needs asking “why?”, you are not alone. I hear you and I ask myself the same questions. Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why does my child have special needs? Why do we all have to suffer from his disabilities? Why?

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As parents of a child with special needs, at times we feel drained. We feel disappointed and let down that our reality of motherhood is nothing like we dreamed it would be. We feel sorry for ourselves. We are frustrated that typical discipline does not work with our children. We feel alone, knowing that our friends and family don’t understand. We are tired from the sleepless nights and multiple therapy appointments. We are bored from following the same rigid schedule that we have to stick with every day so we don’t add to our child’s anxiety. We are angry that our children and ourselves are suffering from their disability.

Yes, I ask myself “why?” I’ve heard other parents of special needs children ask “why me?”  At certain moments or even daily, we’ve all felt the stress of being a parent of a child with a disability. But we have to remind ourselves, we are not alone. And while we have a difficult life, it could be worse.

Imagine being a parent asking yourself “why?” because instead of taking your child to therapy appointments, you are taking your child to chemo treatments. Imagine that instead of heading to the child psychiatrist to discuss your child’s behaviors and options, you are heading to a funeral home to plan your child’s funeral. Imagine that instead of being told your child has a disability, you are being told that you can never have children. When I read these parents’ stories, my heart stops. I stop breathing for a few minutes as I feel so much empathy for their pain and loss.

Suddenly, I’m thankful for the countless therapy appointments, the monthly doctor’s appointments, the rigid daily schedules, the sleepless nights. I’m thankful that I have my child. I’m thankful that my child has me. Because of him and his disabilities, I am better.

Because of them I am better.1

My child’s disability has made me a stronger person. It has made me a more empathetic person. It has taught me to not take simple things for granted. It has given me the drive to learn more about disabilities and learning disorders. It has given me the passion to research ways that I can help my child and apply what I’ve learned in our lives. It continues with each passing day to give me the patience that I never knew I could have. Because of my child’s disability, I am a better person and mother.

Because of my child's disabilities, I am a better person. Click To Tweet

Although I might still ask “why” at times, I must remind myself that even in our toughest moments, there is someone else out there asking themselves “why” for reasons much more difficult than my own.